HOURS GETTING READY: 5
LIMO TEXTS SENT: 4
RED CARPET GAMES: 3
RUMOURS STARTED: 2
"NEW" LIFE:  1

Eva Luton has been sitting in a hotel room for three and a half hours and she doesn't even have mascara on yet.

But Eva is not one to complain. At least, not about this.

She does, however, complain about
I FINISHED THE JINX!!!!
It feels slightly fucked up to be excited about watching something like this, but that ending was the most fucked up thing I've ever seen... or heard, I guess. WHAT THE FUCK.
I FINISHED THE JINX!!!!
I FINISHED THE JINX!!!!
I FINISHED THE JINX!!!!
  • : in which Daniel answers all questions in haiku form


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  • Vanderluton premieres with some movie in Toronto, feat. an engagement ring and matching baby bump(?)


    It's official - The Wreckoning darlings and ONTD's favorite sex tape stars, Daniel Vanderlaar (45) and Eva Luton (27), made their first joint red carpet appearance at the Toronto International Film Festival, where The Martian was making its world premiere.

    If you look closely, Eva was wearing a distinctive diamond ring on her left hand ring finger, although she paired it with a much larger ring on her index finger (see detailed analysis on this failed attempt to deflect attention under the cut). This is the first time we've gotten a good look at what we can only assume is an engagement ring, and it's much smaller than we expected.

    A source that was present at the after-party tells [banned source] that the normally lush Eva traded her champagne for ginger ale all night.

    ( more photos - image heavy )
    Eva Luton has gotten boring.

    Well, not according to the tabloids. To them, her life is more exposed and exciting than ever. No more speculation: she’s out of the darkened-windows frying pan and into the red-carpeted fire, and maybe, depending on how unflattering the angle is, getting ready to “show off” a baby bump.

    But in reality, Eva’s life has settled into a kind of monotony, blissful at its best and unnervingly predictable at its worst.