For there's a man inside me, and only when he's finally out, can I walk free of pain.

These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing.

BY GENE PARMESAN April 20, 2020

You're losing blood, aren't you? Probably, my socks are wet. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw. Well excuse me for liking the way they frame my junk! She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. Say something that will terrify me. Lindsay: F*** me. Tobias: No, that didn't do it. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run..so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.

Daddy horny, Michael. There's a girl in my soup! Te quiero. English, please. I love you! Great, now I'm late. The Army had half a day. She calls it a mayonegg. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn? What, so the guy we are meeting with can't even grow his own hair? COME ON!

1. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat.

Teamocil. Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. She calls it a Mayonegg. It's a wonderful restaurant! You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent. [Stabbing Gob] White power! Gob: I'm white!

2. Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me or is she looking hotter?

Probably out there without a flipper, swimming around in a circle, freaking out his whole family. I hear the jury's still out on science. A-coodle-doodle-doo. A-coodle-doodle-doo. Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere on the OC? ♪♪ It ain't easy being white… ♪♪ Go ahead, touch the cornballer. Waiting for the Emmys.

NEXT:
Star Wars: Ranking Every Lightsaber Fight Of The Sequel Trilogy

NEXT: which game of thrones house are you based on your zodiac sign?